Faith

I don't believe in coincidence.

It wasn't by chance that the judge who heard the case on Monday truly had Kaden's
best interest at heart.

It wasn't "fate" that the ruling was exactly what we hoped for but couldn't imagine being possible.

And it definitely wasn't coincidence that we waited all week for an answer... And an email with the answer was sent to our caseworker within 10 minutes of when I asked for prayer on Facebook. (Which I did right after being told not to count on hearing anything late on a Friday afternoon.)

And it's not "karma" or "the universe" who set it up so that I'll meet my son on Tuesday... My birthday.

God chose Kaden for us. That's been made abundantly clear. And God worked out all the details in such a beautiful way. Seriously. Friends, the judge asked that we have mediation with Kaden's grandma so she can have an ongoing place in his life. Yes, please!! An ongoing relationship has been our hope. I'm looking forward to sitting down with her. Kaden is incredibly attached to his grandma. And that's a good thing.

I expect a rough transition. This little guy has been moved a lot. And he has heard too much of what's been happening the last two weeks. But I trust that God got us this far for a reason. He knows the plans he has for us. He never promised easy or comfortable. But He did promise to always walk with us.

Waiting For You

We've looked at the pictures of MANY children over the last 1.5 years. After seeing Kaden's picture, the searching stopped. We were contacted about other kiddos, but K was the one who had our hearts... long before we knew much about him. If this doesn't work out, I don't see us pursuing another child.

I just went online to find his picture to look at again.  It's not there. This little guy is so close to having a family. His profile has been removed from the site where families can look at kids available for adoption.

We were supposed to hear an answer from the judge today. Our caseworker had to leave for an appointment at 3:45 this afternoon. Since she didn't hear an answer by that time, that leaves us without an answer for today. She said she will call first thing in the morning.

Just one more night of sleep waiting. We can do this.

The P Word

Patience may be a virtue... but I'm not so sure it's one of MY virtues.

The judge didn't rule from the bench today. A ruling will be made by Wednesday.

If I'm going to be honest, I'd kinda like to throw up.

I know the end of the story is beautiful- whatever it may be- but I'm not loving the current chapter.

867-5309

We just returned from a short trip to Seattle. The kids went to Emerald City Comicon and I attended the Northwest Ministry Conference. (yes, two VERY different experiences.) It's possible my kids were born in the wrong decade. They both prefer 70's and 80's music. There is much singing along from the backseat with Steve Miller Band, Billy Joel, etc.

I have a whole big bunch of peace about Monday's court hearing. I think the main difference is that it doesn't feel even the tiniest bit personal. The decision is between DHS and grandmother... no part of it depends on how "good" we are as a family. I have zero control over what happens at this point. That doesn't mean I won't be heartbroken if the judge decides to give custody to his grandmother, but the process seems a bit easier.

While I have peace, I'm very ready for a decision to be made. The waiting is hard.

Please pray for wisdom for the judge on Monday. The hearing starts at 10am. I would give a whole lot to be a fly on the wall in that court room.

A Day to Remember

Such an emotional day! I'm not a patient person on the best of days...

The call came right after 4pm.

It's a BOY!

Our family was chosen for a sweet little 6 year old- the little guy that we've prayed for since October. (It's become known as the 'adoption situation.' )

We have one more big hurdle to get through before we can TRULY celebrate. Monday, at 10am, there will be a court hearing between this little guy's grandmother and DHS. Grandmother wants custody. DHS doesn't seem to feel that's the best choice. We're praying hard that the judge sees the truth in the situation and picks the best home for this little guy.

Until then... He has my whole heart.

Sweetly Broken

It's a little bit hard to breathe this morning. 

(Actually, I'm anxious enough that I think I'll limit further coffee intake. That says a lot.)

I tried to make plans to fill up my day and keep me moving.

The rain messed with most of those.

Instead I'm surrounding myself with the music that blesses my heart.

One song of hope and grace after another.

Committee starts at 1pm and should be over by 4pm.

Thank you for being patient with me through all of this.

It has been a hard road...

But God has been amazing.

No matter how the story ends, 

it will end beautifully.

Attachment

If you know someone who has adopted a child (especially an older child or a child who has spent some of life in an orphanage), give them an extra hug and tell them that they're doing a good job.

Bringing a child into your family after they've experienced abandonment is hard. It's worth it... but it's hard. There are attachment issues to work through. They're exhausting and frustrating and hurtful.... and worth it.

I've heard this song many times before, but last night, someone compared it to the attachment concerns of an adoptive child. 9 years ago, we had a little guy in our home who could have written this song. I had so few tools and so little preparation for the attachment process that we were about to experience. It's only through God (in my opinion) that we made it through the first couple of years.

"I hope that you see right through my walls." I hope we have the opportunity to form an amazing attachment with a new little guy. Four days.