Day 127

Today marks 127 days of foster care.

I want to give this magical update of what comes next, but I’m not sure what that is. We never planned to do foster care- and this would be the main reason. I’m not super gifted on “waiting.” I dislike not knowing what comes next.

Here’s what I do know:

*As of this week, I’ve become “Mommy” 100% of the time. There is currently zero desire to use the term “daddy.” It’s something we aren’t pushing, but it’s a bond we’re actively working on. For whatever reason, having another dad is much scarier than having another mom.

*Some of the most worrisome behaviors have significantly decreased. We feel blessed to be surrounded by professional support that truly cares about this girlie.

*She LOVES school and is amazed by letters. Watching her learn makes my heart happy.

*We have constant discussions about Christmas and her birthday (which is still months away.) She’s so excited about having a birthday cake for the first time.

*There hasn’t been any contact with birth parents since early July. That raises questions at times... and those questions are really hard to answer.

I can’t fathom her leaving. It will tear my heart out. But I’m working on taking each day as it comes and not allowing my brain to get too caught up in what could be.

And yet my heart aches for the brokenness of the birth family. This isn’t how it was meant to be.