Tough Decisions

Today brought an interesting conversation...

"The caseworker of an 11 year old boy in Portland would like to take you to committee."

Exciting news. News I would have jumped on 3 months ago.

......

But then came K. And K took our hearts and tied them around his little finger. We're hoping for this little guy. We pray for him. We talk about him. We plan for a future with him. We're all in at this point. Looking at any other possible child to adopt feels like a "second choice." And that's not fair to anyone.

So we said no to this 11 year old boy. I really hate doing that. This whole process just breaks my heart.

And still we wait. As of today, they're still trying to pick the 2 other families to take to committee. I know there's a method to the madness, but I'd much rather have him curled up in the bunk bed that's waiting for him upstairs.

(Just a forewarning: If K doesn't come into our home, there will be a cry fest by yours truly. I'll be ok and we'll all accept God's will... but there will be a whole bunch of tears.)

No Regret

He's terrified of the dark.

He doesn't like chicken liver.

He likes the top of his head rubbed while he falls asleep.

He adores his biological grandma.

He's a fan of puzzles... and likes to do them all by himself.

A good conversation with K's foster mom today was a big blessing- and leaves us with no second thoughts on the matter.



Father, may I?

Mother May I?

Take 3 baby steps forward.

Mother may I?

Yes you may.

Ever play that game? I feel like the adoption process has been an extra long game of Mother May I. Take 3 baby steps forward. Take one hop forward. Try not to get your hopes up.

I can say that today we took one large step forward. It was a step that I was fairly confident in from the information I had received, but without a "Yes you may", I was terrified to get my hopes up.

This morning I got the official word that we will be "going to committee" for K. A date hasn't been selected yet, but sometime in the *hopefully* near future, we will be one of up to three families that a group of people will spend half a day discussing. At the end of that discussion, there should be a decision as to which family is the best fit for this little guy.

God is so much smarter than me. I'm going to trust His plan on this one. But, if I'm being honest, I'm begging Him for this boy. Father, may I?

The Little Family that Could

Truth: Today has been a bit harder with this whole waiting thing. I think seeing a video of K yesterday may be the cause.

The longer we wait, the less hope I have. I hate to admit that. I know without a doubt that I'll look back and see God's hand in the whole process, but it's hard to see it right now. I'm just so ready for answers or information of any kind.


In the midst of all this stuff that sometimes overwhelms my heart, I feel incredibly blessed by the family I have. I have two teenagers that I not only love... I actually LIKE them. I'm proud of them and I enjoy my time with them. They make me laugh all.the.time. They even chose to sit at the table and play a game with us for almost an hour after dinner last night. I don't think they realize that they're at an age where they're not supposed to like us. Shhh! Don't tell them!

And my husband. I adore him. He works hard and takes care of us and watches stupid movies with the kids and fixes stuff and makes me laugh. All that AND he loves God. I'm so thankful.

Life is rough. The adoption process is rough. But God is good.

I think we can...I think we can...I think we can...