True Support

I was 17 years old when I got engaged.

(And yes, I often wonder why my parents gave their blessing. Other than to make me Steve’s responsibility. ...I may have been a difficult teen.)

It’s been almost 24 years since our engagement- and my memories of the people who “didn’t approve” are vivid.

“You know the chances of this lasting are slim, right?”

“But... you’re so young.”

So many comments made to my face. And that doesn’t include the looks and side comments that I overheard.

....

I get it. Getting married incredibly young raises some red flags. And people who loved me wanted to protect me. But it felt like a lack of support. And a lack of belief that I could make good decisions.

The same scenario has happened over the last 5 months.

The resistance to our decision to add to our family has been harder than the (almost) daily tantrums.

The people who avoid us has hurt more than the, “I don’t want to be with you!” screams.

The loud (or behind our back) disagreements with how we feel we need to approach all of this has been harder than any interaction with the birth family.

....

How can you support someone through fostering?

Listen to them.

Be a safe place to fall when it gets hard.

Celebrate the small victories with them.

Trust that they’re doing what’s best.

Ask about their week.

Follow their lead on how they choose to interact with birth family.

Mourn with them. Weep with them. Laugh with them.

It’s needed. So needed.