This is one of those moments.
School started today. I love my kids and I love spending time with them- but I get my energy from moments alone. This is my first time alone in the house for more than an hour in months. My heart needed today.
My heart is a bit discouraged. It's silly, really. We all know adoptions can take an extended period of time... but there was hope that the extra bed would be filled by the time school started. It was a hope and a really big dream. School started today and the bed is empty. That dream just didn't come true. There have been a couple possibilities of boys that we've had to say no to. That hurts my heart even more.
I know God has a plan that will amaze me. He always does. But at this very moment- if I'm being real and honest- this waiting feels a whole lot like the infertility I already spent way too many years dealing with. It's a feeling I didn't like then and I sure don't like it any more now.
Lord, I don't know who he is or where he is. But please protect his heart until he comes home.
(I really am ok. I just needed to share my heart.)
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